"Friends" ... the Greatest Ever?? Hardly ...

That's right. After ten seasons, no more hangin' out at Central Perk. Except, of course, in syndicated reruns ad infinitum and in a potential sweeps episode of "Joey." But with "Frasier," a clearly superior product to "Friends," fading almost quietly into the twilight after the hoopla over Ross and Rachel finally dies down, I shake my head in bewilderment.

Yes, I've seen "Friends," perhaps as many as three episodes. And frankly, that's been enough. Sitcoms are very near and dear to my heart, and a program that can make me laugh reliably is a valued tonic to my occasionally conflicted soul. These "Friends" never did it for me.

I know that this will offend many of you, so I lay my soul bare by telling you the ten programs that DO tickle my funny bone, so that you can write me back and make fun of me. It's only fair.

10. "My Favorite Martian"
Whenever I generate lists of this type, "Martian" turns up at the bottom. This is because the program is admittedly low-brow, but somehow it speaks to me. The chemistry between stars Ray Walston and Bill Bixby sparkles, even forty years later. And two or three episodes per year of this, the longest running of extraterrestrial sitcoms, were truly moving stories about the aliens and alienated in our society.

9. "Scrubs"
Why NBC doesn't nurture this fast-paced, frequently surprising program is beyond me. A cast of relative unknowns has gelled into a superb acting unit, and amidst the constant laughs, an occasional tear will form. And John C. McGinley's Dr. Cox just makes me laugh by standing there. Maybe it's just me.

8. "Taxi"
It was pitched as "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" with guys. And a stellar cast that no network could afford today -- Judd Hirsch, Danny DeVito, the late Andy Kaufman, Marilu Henner, Christopher Lloyd, and (I can't believe he'll be getting a talk show) Tony Danza. When the show won yet another best comedy Emmy after being canceled by its second network, Judd Hirsch accepted the trophy and said, "This is nice. But if the show really speaks to you ... if you can't get us out of your minds ... bring us back." I wish I could.

7. "The Honeymooners"
I must qualify this one. When I say "The Honeymooners," I mean the "classic 39." Not the "lost" episodes, the color variety shows, the originals, which never left the air after a single season. To the moon, indeed. 39 comedic ballets, with nary a mis-step.

6. "Arrested Development"
I've told you ... I've begged you to watch this program. I've detailed its brilliance, and its comic style. Now all I'll tell you is that a lot of sitcoms did NOT make this list. Only five, in my opinion, have EVER been any better. FOX, if you cancel this program, I hope you make a pay cable channel very happy.

5. "The Larry Sanders Show"
Speaking of pay cable ... HBO's blistering behind-the-scenes look at a late night talk show took no prisoners, and celebrities lined up to take pot shots at themselves. It's television's brightest dark comedy. Now where are seasons 2-5 on DVD?

4. "Get Smart"
It's remarkable that the sitcom that added "Missed it by That Much" and "Sorry About that, Chief" to our collective lexicon in 1965 has aged as gracefully as it has. But after all, it poked fun at government, good versus evil, and of course, the Cone of Silence.

3. "The Dick van Dyke Show"
Carl Reiner's autobiographical sitcom was the first to make marriage ... well ... sexy. One of television's most honored situation comedies, its most shining moment was in leaving before it wore out its welcome.

2. "NewsRadio"
"Green Acres" for Yankees, the weekly travails at a second-rate New York City radio station wasn't afraid to dip into the surreal to milk the laughs. And the show should realistically have suffered more than it did with the death of Phil Hartman. But it's writers and performers consistently rose to every challenge. Unfortunately even its fans had difficulty finding the program, as it was NBC's equivalent to the pea in its scheduling shell game.

1. "Barney Miller"
Not so much a sitcom, but a series of 168 brilliantly realized one-act plays, deftly mixing comedy and tragedy over a backdrop of a dingy, darkly lit police precinct in New York's Greenwich Village. While "Seinfeld" gleefully celebrated the pettiness of New Yorkers, "Barney Miller" did the same, but added back the humanity and the optimism.

Where are "The Mary Tyler Moore Show," "I Love Lucy," "Curb Your Enthusiasm," "All in the Family," and "M*A*S*H?" Well, I only had ten slots. And these ten represent the scores of videotapes that line the walls of my home office. These are the TV "friends" with which I most like to spend my time.

Feel free to write me with yours. And yes, you can make fun of the "Martian" show if it makes you feel better.