Garfield *1/2

I am not a cat fan. I find them too independent, strong-willed and indifferent for my tastes. As a result, I've never cared much for Garfield, Jim Davis' much-merchandised comic cat. He's self-centered, egotistical, and absolutely oblivious to anything but his own well being. In short, my idea of the average cat (oh, I can read those e-mails now).

The big-screen adventures of "Garfield" uses a computer generated cat to good effect, with the inspired vocal casting of Bill Murray as the finicky feline who never met a lasagne he didn't like. That's where the inspiration pretty much ends in this pedestrian effort.

When searching for an actor to play the bland role of Garfield's human pal Jon, 20th Century Fox looked no further than the recently unemployed (again) Breckin Meyer. Meyer starred in the NBC sitcom "Conrad Bloom" (don't remember it either, huh?) and was initially cast in the ill-advised American version "Coupling." His next batch of unemployment checks will come from the cancellation of ABC's "Married to the Kellys." His track record of securing lead roles and remaining in obscurity is reaching legendary heights. And Jennifer Love Hewitt, as his (forgive me) love interest, veterinarian Elizabeth Wilson, matches him dull for dull. The only thing remotely colorful about Jon is his home, which looks like a time-share with Pee Wee Herman.

In order to get close to Elizabeth, Jon adopts Odie, a stray at the pound which, for reasons the film never explains, is the only animal in the picture that doesn't have an inner monologue. Garfield teaches Odie how to dance to music videos, making him an attractive financial boon to a television pet expert (Stephen Tobolowski) who uses an electric shock collar on his animals to get them to obey him.

You can probably write the script from here, and I wish you had. If you've ever seen "Homeward Bound," "Toy Story," or even "Clifford's Great Big Adventure," you've seen "Garfield." Cat's jealous of dog. Cat causes dog to disappear. Cat realizes that he must rescue dog. Cat rallies other stray animals to aid in his cause. And so on and so on and so on.

Even the kids at my matinee seemed rather listless, except during any scenes involving Garfield dancing or breaking wind. It is difficult to tell if Bill Murray is attempting to convey Garfield's casual attitude or if he, too, is simply bored with the tripe he's been paid good money to say.

The afternoon was not a total loss, however. The audience is treated to a delightful animated short from the folks at Pixar, featuring "Ice Age"'s Scrit, you know, the acorn-loving creature with a predilection for disaster. The six minutes of "Road Runner"-esque fun in "Goin' Nutty" is easily the best part of the "Garfield"experience.