Thursday December 26th, 2024 2:16AM

A look back at my first 50 years ...

By Bill Wilson Reporter

As I teeter on the precipice of fifty, I find a lot of random things racing through my head.  In order to help other people approaching a similar milestone, I wish to document some of them here.  Please understand that there’s no common thread here … just a mind slowly beginning to unravel as the second “half” of its life commences …

Can someone explain to me the guy in the pickup truck, with a newspaper in one hand and a jelly donut in the other, waiting for a parking space to open up at the gym?

What’s the point in watching any television program made after 1988?  I don’t care what the genre is, it was done better by a show twenty-five years ago.

I wish them no ill will, but I’d love to go the rest of my life without knowing the latest from a Kardashian.  Weren’t they aliens on “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine,” by the way?

And stop calling it “reality” television.  As soon as you introduce cameras and editors, it becomes something else.

Anybody else bothered by the fact that millions of copies of a book are flying off store shelves, and the author never wanted it published?

How about the fact that 75% of us have old French fries slowly decaying somewhere in our cars?

I stole this observation from somewhere, but it rings true.  We now carry a device in our pockets that provides us access to all the knowledge known to man, and we use it to match three colors and start arguments with total strangers.

While on the phone this morning with my sister, by the way, I spent ten minutes … trying to find my phone.

The fact that Berkeley Breathed is returning to “Bloom County” actually gives me a good reason to look forward to my NEXT fifty years … why wasn’t this headline news?  Oh, yeah.  It’s a comic strip.

If the client was always right, they wouldn’t need us, would they?

Every year, the Academy Awards sends off the performers who passed away in fine style.  Wouldn’t it be nice if we could afford the same acknowledgment to the brave men and women who pay the ultimate price for our continued freedom?

Doesn’t a neat desk REALLY mean that you have too much time on your hands?

I’m really bothered by the amount of sunsets I’ve missed in my life, because they’re all so beautiful and different.  I don’t feel the same about sunrises.  They’re just too early in the day.

I enjoy re-watching my favorite old television shows.  But theater is magic.  For two hours, a hundred people in an audience share an experience that will never happen again in exactly the same fashion.

No movie will ever have a more powerful message to me than the one in “It’s a Wonderful Life.”  Because of my family and friends, I’m the richest man alive.  Sorry, Donald Trump. 

I’ll check in with you all early in my second half-century!

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