One learns a great deal in a lifetime. One of the lessons I learned as part of my time breathing in and out is that parenthood is sacrifice. So, before our son made his sunlight debut, I made a burnt offering of my fitness club membership. You see, fitness clubs require time and money. Children do too. Having a limited supply of both, I choose to leave the indoor track and weights behind. After all, fitness clubs don’t hug you or tell their friends how great you are. Children do...at least until they hit adolescence.
As we readied our nest for baby number two, I mentally prepared for the expansion of my southern exposure. Joyfully, it never happened thanks to a new workout program we called Evan.
Cuddly with a luring grin and just a little pudge, that’s the way he looked. But it was all disguise for underneath that soft-serve exterior lurked the “Human Muscle”.
I soon discovered that 10 minutes with The Human Muscle was all it took to receive the benefits of a five-mile run. He twisted, turned, climbed, and crawled all while you tried to hold him. If you let his fingernails get too long, he sliced, diced, and made Juliann fries out of your shoulder. Want to do a little road work? Just turn him loose on the floor and try to keep up.
At one point I considered renting him out to help train rodeo cowboys. If you could change his diaper before he had time to flip and crawl off the changing table, roping a steer would be no problem. The kid was that quick, which is why it was often a team sport.
Parenthood is not for the weak of stomach. There are dirty diapers, runny noses, and enough drool to irrigate rice patties in the Sahara. These wonderful perks of parenthood are all intensified when your offspring begins teething. For those who don’t know, teething is that time in a child’s life when everything becomes a chew toy.
Teething is a time of parental worry. You are suddenly aware of how many things that your child could choke on are within easy reach. Of course, on the upside, if your keys go missing or you wonder where the mate to that odd sock is hiding you have only to check their jowls. Ditto if you leave them in a room with your miniature poodle and return to find the dog missing.
Realize that teething is one of the ways that your child is able to experience the world around them. It is part of that drive to forage for food…to survive. Besides how else would you know that Brussel sprouts taste like the bottom of a shoe if you haven’t chewed on both?
Parenthood is a time of icky and sticky. That’s why you should always treat your child like a Tupperware container: burp them after filling them with food.
I learned this the hard way late one evening when my daughter was an infant. She woke up in the middle of the night as children are want to do. She needed a dry diaper and a bottle. I changed her diaper and took her back to our bed for the bottle. Feeding her in bed wasn’t the issue. Not burping her was. After the bottle was empty we both dozed off. She was nestled in the crook of my arm. Suddenly I heard a strange guttural noise. Shortly I became aware of a warm, wet sensation on my arm. I begged my wife to sever my arm, as the feel of partially digested formula was just too much to take. I wound up changing the sheets while she put the baby in dry clothes. Children are such gluttons.
Parenthood is about letting go. The day my daughter took her first step, I saw it as her first step in walking away. But that’s a good thing. We want our children to be able to take care of themselves. We want them to go out and discover the world, hopefully making it better. I learned that as my children grew and were able to do things on their own, they did them better when I got out of the way. They also enjoyed them more. It’s hard, but letting go is the best thing you can do. You won’t always be there to help them, and it is their life to live after all. But don’t worry, it doesn’t mean you’ll never see them again.
It is this lesson that teaches you the most important thing about parenting and life in general: It’s not about being needed. It’s about being loved.
And that’s what has made being a parent the best job I will ever have. Thank you, Kate…thank you, Kelsey…thank you, Evan.
