I find it interesting that there are so many political experts but so few of those “experts” feel the need to offer themselves up for public service. On the one hand, I can’t say that I blame them. If you don’t want people to know you ate paste on a regular basis during third grade, don’t run. We the people have always been a ruthless bunch even before social media. And nothing hurts quite like paste shaming.
I say this with the disclaimer that I am one of the least political people you’ll ever meet. I do have a right to my opinion, but realize that I am under no obligation to share it. Nor is anyone under a similar requirement to listen to it. That is why I won’t be insulted if you stop reading now. But, if you are thinking of throwing your hat into the political ring or know someone who is, then read on for information that is just as misguided and ill-informed as many of those who claim to have all the answers. If everyone else can do it, so can I.
First off, if you’re planning on running for any office, have a good slogan. Don’t be bland or cliché. While “For the people” may sound good, aren’t all candidates “for the people”? A good slogan lets a person know something about you that sets you apart from other candidates. Go with something a bit more specific and relatable. “Vote John Doe. He’s doesn’t have a hobby or any friends so he has plenty of time for the job.” “Vote Jane Doe. She’s doesn’t even know how to spell the word ‘skandel’.” “John Doe: when it comes to public service he’s convicted. All other charges were dismissed due to lack of evidence.”
I once ran for band captain in high school. Yes, I am the geek you didn’t want your daughter to marry. Out of fairness to my wife and in-laws, none of them knew about the band days until it was too late. It’s not my fault that they didn’t do their due diligence. If you don't ask for the disclosure form you get what you get. Caveat emptor, let the buyer beware.
In my brief career on the campaign trail, I came up with the slogan “Vote Bill Maine. We all need a good B.M.” Not only catchy but true. Granted not many people want to admit it in public but being embarrassed about it doesn’t make it any less true. And to answer your question, I got elected.
Running for office is about putting everything about you in a positive light. Even those things that you think might hurt your chances can work in your favor, if you couch the message in the right way. Here are some helpful examples.
Embezzlement: I know how to manage the people’s money.
Jail Trustee: I have a track record of public service.
Assault: I am strong on defense.
Tax Evasion: I will fight to lower taxes.
Bribery: I am a skilled negotiator.
Hacking: I understand the challenges facing our tech sector.
However, if you don’t have any skeletons in your closet but would be nervous if someone started digging in your backyard, you might want to reconsider.
While I’m taking elections, here’s a suggestion for our Secretary of State’s office. The peach stickers we get for voting are great. But if they were scratch-and-sniff I think voter turnout would increase.
