There are biological parents and there are moms and dads. For many, they are one and the same. Me, I had a set of each. My biological parents realized before I was born that they couldn’t care for me and gave me up for adoption. Enter the people who changed my diapers, tolerated temper tantrums, taught me to drive, and helped my wife and me move into our first house. In other words: Mom and Dad.
National Adoption Day is observed annually on the Saturday prior to Thanksgiving. Since that’s this Saturday, I thought I’d give Tom Rawlings a call. He’s the director of the Georgia Division of Family and Children Services. I wanted to learn about the state of adoption today.
Rawlings told me there are 1,460 children in Georgia in need of adoptive parents. Currently his office is focusing on older children who are seeking parents before they turn 18. Rawlings said this situation is different from infant adoptions because it is a two-way street. Not only does the perspective parent have a say in the arrangement, but so does the teen. Making sure the chemistry is right on both sides of the coin is paramount.
Curious as to what my parents might have experienced in their adoption journey, I asked Rawlings what perspective parents should consider when choosing to adopt. His advice to those wanting to adopt a younger child was to explore foster parenting. For those considering adopting an older child, be ready to meet the child several times to see if it will be a good fit.
Technology certainly is much more in play now than when my parents were looking to adopt. The “It’s My Turn Now” website and “Wednesday’s Child” are excellent sites that let perspective parents do some pre-screening. Each offers pictures and bios on the children available for adoption. You’ll also find information on taking the next steps in becoming an adoptive parent.
These sites are some of the steps that DFCS is taking to try and make the process easier and increase awareness of the option of adoption. Apparently, it is working. Rawlings said that some 1,200 adoptions were finalized last year in Georgia. That’s 400 more than the previous year.
Rawlings added that finding foster parents is just as important. Children waiting for adoption still need stable homes that give them opportunities to flourish while they await a permanent family. Rawlings said that when foster parents decided to become adoptive parents, there are many options open to them both public and private.
My parents did it the other way. They adopted my brother and eight years later adopted me. About four years after my arrival, they decided to become foster parents. Over the years I had three foster brothers and one foster sister. She was the only infant my parents fostered. My folks kept tabs on the children after they left our care as much as was allowed. I know that one of my brothers joined the Marines. We actually visited him at his parent’s house when he was home on leave after boot camp.
I was just days old when I was adopted. My mother told us from a young age we were adopted. It never bothered me. It still doesn’t. Although I sometimes wonder about my biological parents, I’ve never thought about searching for them. But if I were to meet them, I would thank them for giving two loving people the chance to be parents a second time. And for allowing me to be raised by two of the most kind and caring people I have ever met.
To find out more about the adoption process, visit one of the sites mentioned above or call your local DFCS office. There are also many good private, non-profit organizations that can help. You can see several listed here.
