It’s been brought to my attention my inability to take the garbage out at home.
As a kid, I had a few chores at home. Since I was the only male sibling, my main jobs were taking the garbage out and mowing the lawn. If I had to rank the two in likable order, mowing the lawn would be No. 1 and taking the trash out would be No. 1,000,000.
Yes, I would rather mow the lawn 1,000 times than take the nasty garbage to the outside receptacle. Why? All I have to do is crank the mower and ride. It’s so much more fun, and, it gets me out of the house for hours at a time. Wait, I just gave up why I like to mow grass. Seriously, though, I would mow grass, on a zero-turn mower, all day long. I would get off the mower, go get gas, gas it back up and start mowing again before I would take the trash out. Some might call me lazy, I call it efficiency.
This brings me to my sweet, loving, caring, beautiful wife - I’m trying to set this up so I’m not stuck on the sofa for a week… I’ll keep you briefed next week on how well this blog was received by my wife.
Anyway, she decided to be funny and post a meme about husbands walking past full trash cans on Facebook (See photo). Of course, her friends started tagging their husbands, and posting one-word responses like "yep!" It really started a free–for–all call out your husbands Facebook post. Well, husbands, I'm taking up for myself - in public.
I have admitted and will do it again … I do walk past the full garbage can in the kitchen. I’m not denying that I walk by a full and, sometimes, overflowing garbage can in the kitchen. However, when I walk by the said full trash can, I wonder how in the heck do we have so much trash in just a couple of days?
So, I launched a full investigation to find the evidence to this reoccurring nightmare ... at least to my wife. Seriously, I investigated. I grabbed some gloves, pulled the bag out – we use the Hefty stretch bags – and began to search for the evidence. I found two glaring reasons why we have this problem - a shoe box and a gallon-sized milk jug. Clearly, these two items were taking up at least a couple square feet of bag space.
I immediately bring this issue to the attention of my wife. She, of course, ignores my findings. My recommendation was to leave the larger, more bulky items out of the kitchen trash can. I also recommended we could crush and dispose of these items separately.
Well, my investigation was all for naught. The boxes and milk jugs continue to go in the bag and the trash continues to fill up.
I tried to conquer this issue. I worked diligently to solve the mystery that has haunted my household for years and clear my name. I gave it all I had to find the culprit … the suspect, if you will. I presented my well-investigated case to the court ... but ... it ended with a hung jury.
As always, feel free to send comments to [email protected]
