I don’t have a lot of patience. I do however think I have more of it than my kids. When they want something, they want it NOW. Part of it is just kids being kids. Part of it is their generation.
I grew up having to wait. My kids do not wait for anything. They live in a culture where you push a button and the thing you desire arrives directly to your doorstep a mere few hours later.
My kids could benefit from some waiting, but they haven’t had the advantage of living in an era outside of the fast-paced world of “right now” and “on-demand.”
Think about it. They’ve never had to wait for the internet to dial-up. They’ve never had to wait all week for their favorite TV show to come on. Now, you can even rent the movie from an “on-demand” streaming service, sometimes the same day it’s out in the theater.
Everything is instant, even their photos. They’ll never know the anticipation of waiting for days to pick up photos at a local drugstore to see how their pictures turned out. Remember standing there handing back the bad ones you didn’t like so you could turn them back in and save a couple cents?
They will never know what it’s like to run to the bathroom during your favorite TV show, yelling, “tell me when it’s back on!”
My kids will never know the joy, and the mystery, of wondering who might possibly be at the other end of the ringing phone. They’ll also never understand having to sit less than a foot away from the wall where it’s connected… while the whole family listens in.
They will never know what it means to wait for the radio to play your favorite song. Sometimes you would wait days to hear it. The tape recorder was ready, loaded with a cassette tape, so you could push “record.” The worst feeling was missing those first few seconds, but at least then you could listen to it again.
They will never know the silence of hours on end where you could not communicate with anyone and let them know where you are … and nobody worried. And nobody cared.
Perhaps I can combat today’s era, which is in my opinion becoming increasingly self-centered and demanding, with some things that are a little more slow-moving. Perhaps I can grow a garden with them and teach them to wait for the fruits of the labor. (Or the vegetables, depending on what we grow.)
I’m always trying to teach my daughter to mail a good old-fashioned letter. Now they text and someone texts right back. They message or email someone and get an almost immediate response. A letter… now that’s golden. You have to wait, sometimes day, sometimes weeks, to get a response. Maybe we need to write more letters and practice the art of communicating and waiting.
It takes time to do something well. It takes time to learn something new. It takes time to watch something blossom and grow. It takes time to create, develop and create things. It takes time to mature and grow anything – people and careers and even third-grade math.
I’ve been teaching my daughter to crochet. That’s a creative outlet that takes time and intentionality. She enjoyed it – briefly. It wasn’t something she stuck with for very long. This learning to wait is a process. Also, the sparkle of “get it right now” shines a little brighter for today’s kids compared to the dull idea of waiting. Why would you?
Waiting is helpful so often in life. It’s good to wait when you make decisions, start a new idea, when you get angry, when you want to quit. It’s good to wait before you speak. It’s good to wait on others first. Waiting is an important character quality I’m afraid we are losing.
It’s hard to be quiet in a world when the phone always dings, the microwave always beeps, the notifications keep coming, the phone always rings. So, it takes more effort now to create these disciplines.
We are all so busy; it’s hard to be still. When you don’t know what to do, I think sometimes the best thing is just to do nothing. Just be still. And wait. And when your emotions have calmed and your impatience hushed, then move. Your steps will be firmer, your decisions will be unregrettable, and you will grow a little bit wiser. I think you will also find that you will be kinder.
Waiting is a lost art. Write a letter. Grow a garden. Stop and listen before acting. These are all important reminders for myself and all qualities I want to instill in my own kids.
